Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Why You Turn Up So Late?!!!

I really could have used something like this months ago.  I wonder if I asked somebody to fill this out now, would the answers satisfy me?  Probably not as much as the actual cuddling.  Hehehe.

In case you guys are in need of some human contact, here you go.  Happy cuddling, and let the applications begin!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Reconnection: A Joke

The descriptions were too uncanny to go unnoticed.  After an hour on the phone, we had stumbled on a strangely familiar topic.  This guy he once went out with reminded me of him.  Same car, same description, same background, same extraordinary (and apparently, memorable) gestures.  Yet, while I was memorable to him, he barely registered a blip on my radar.  

"Maybe you've met so many guys," he said.  Maybe I had.

He said he tried, but there was no connection.  We had gone out several times.  "Two or three times," he said.  Not registering.  Maybe if I saw him again.  I was getting frustrated.

"He gave me pastries," he said, "and a box of Nestle Cream.  I had told him that my mom had gone to the stores and they had run out because it was  the Christmas season.  He got some for me.  Who could forget that?"  The gesture was vaguely familiar.  The words registered in my head.  That does sound like something I would do.  But I don't recall who I did it for.

"He drove me home."  When he almost accurately described my car, I almost certainly knew that it was me sitting behind the steering wheel. But then, I don't remember picking him up in Ortigas.  I was not a fan of Ortigas back then, its streets proving to be more than enough challenge for my then fledgling sense of direction.  I don't remember ever bringing somebody home to his village in Paranaque.  I would've remembered.  I kept thinking about the routes I would've taken to try and joggle my sleeping memories.  I came up with nothing.  

We hung up without a promise to keep in touch.  It was getting awkward.  If it didn't work then, despite my being memorable, it wouldn't work now.   Besides, I would've remembered him if he was really something.  My memory may be failing me lately, but that is not something that I think I'd forget.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Congratulations UP Pep Squad!

Video courtesy of Youtube

Nothing comes close to igniting Isko/Iska UAAP pride than the UAAP Cheerdance Competition.  That, and well, maybe it appeals to the homosexual segment (though I have straight guy friends who are into it as well.)  

With a flawlessly-executed routine (and homage to the Queen of Pop) like this one, we can say that we all thought about bleaching our hair.  Even for just a while.

Good job UP Pep Squad!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Cheater Magnet

So I've been coming cross cheaters lately.  I'm not sure why.  If you knew me, you'd know that cheating is a pet peeve.  And yet, most of the guys I've been talking to these past few weeks/months have been cheaters.  I really don't mind as much as I did, back when I was actively looking for a relationship.  It's just a bit disconcerting to note this fact now.  Maybe I'm being given signs about fidelity in relationships?  Maybe I'm being reminded about loyalty?  Or maybe, just maybe, I'm meant to direct these guys to the right path.  If it's the last one, let me let out one big UGH.  Seriously.  I've had enough.

On a lighter note, in the words of Carmi Martin from the trailer of the upcoming Star Cinema film, No Other Woman: "Ang mundo ay isang malaking Quiapo, maraming snatcher.  Maagawan ka.  Lumaban ka."

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Photo from AJ's Twitter Account:

I never met AJ.  In fact, I hardly knew the guy.  Save for the fact that I read his blog, which was one of the first gay blogs I ever read.  I found him inspiring in a way especially since what he wrote about resonated with me.  I found out about his condition in MGG, one of the first gay blogs I read, too.  I don't remember where I found out that AJ had passed on.  All I know is that, I felt a certain sense of loss with his passing.  I know what I feel can't possibly compare to what his family and friends must be feeling.  Still, I would like to think that, like a "familiar stranger," he was a part of my life.

Before I move on, I would like to point out that his family is asking for volunteers to contribute to a fund for him.  Details can be found here:  If you have something to spare, then please do contribute.  It will be much appreciated.

As I did not know AJ, I can't conceivably write a tribute.  Instead, I will focus on an aspect of his life that touched mine: his blog entries.  Today, I would like to recall something he wrote last year, just as he was about to turn 28.  He died two days shy of his 29th birthday this year.  This post is something that I have long held true.  Never mind that I will probably don't share his "over enthusiasm" for one's finer qualities.  The thought is still there.  With his passing, the search for love in my life has been given a whole new perspective.  AJ, when all this is no more than just a passing dream, I will shake your hand.

Why No One Wants to Date Me

I'm single and happy.  I'm single and it's a choice.  

I used to think that having a boyfriend was the be-all and end-all of my being gay.  I used to sleep around too much thinking that I would finally find that someone who can make me happy.  After  few failed relationships and used condoms, I finally found that person – MYSELF!
I have since realized that the only person who can give me happiness the way I want it, is no one else but myself. So now I’m overflowing with love and happiness – from myself, my friends and my family.  There is nothing wrong with being single.  I am a single, content, confident and happy woman, err man.

So here’s one thing I realized this year:  No one wanted to date me because I was so full of myself.  My online dating profiles intimidated many. Why, you ask?  Read the following contests (written in 2006) from one of my online profiles:

I just want to find that someone who can make me feel needed and wanted, while at the same time make me want and need him. I want to find that someone who can shut me up with a kiss whenever I go on rambling and talking relentlessly. I want to find that someone who can laugh at me and laugh with me. I want to find that someone who can tell me pointblank and in an in-your-face manner that I am wrong, if I ever am. I want to find that someone with whom I can face each and everyday with hope and a wanting for a brighter day ahead. And I just want to find that someone who, without any explanation, or beyond reason, can look me in the eye and tell me he loves me… (or that I am a jerk, if this need ever arises).
If you get bored easily with a hell of a lot of text, then you might wanna skip this. I talk a lot and I often speak my mind. I can be very shallow and extremely deep when it comes to conversations. I can talk about anything and everything under the sun (sometimes I make sense, sometimes I don’t.)
I have the tendency to want to be needed. Sometimes, I have the “Savior” complex. I just want to save the world, or at the very least, people. (But we all know this is not possible)
I am a man who:
*loves a good laugh
*is kept alive by humor
*believes that everything happens for a reason.
*is a people-pleaser
*loves subjecting self to martyrdom
*smokes. Lucky Strike Filters.
*can be a snob.but can be friendly at the same time.
*at times is a loner. but blends in with any group of people.
*loves coffee
*has no regrets in life
*is straight-acting and discreet
I am also a man who:
*hates liars and pretenders.
*hates people who ask for passwords when they can’t give you anything short of a g4m default no-pic profile site.
*f***ing hates missed calls.
*hates people who do not have face pics to offer (i have to see the facade that holds your brain. I wanna see your eyes so I may be able to see through to your soul)
*gives more value to a face picture than a naked one
*hates social climbers

And that’s just the About Me portion. I used to believe that I was so good a catch that I had the gall to require the people who asked me out to subscribe to my standards. Some of these things are still true about me until today. But now, I don’t really care much, if at all.
At one point in my life, I came to realize that the universe did not, does not, and will never revolve around me.  And that's when it finally hit me: no one wants to date an intimidating prick like I was before.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Being Undead, Gay, and Loving It

I'd been meaning to watch Zombadings 1: Patayin sa Shokot si Remington ever since I chanced upon trailers of the movie in IRC many months back.  I visited the Facebook fan page dutifully, but there never was really an update as to when it will be shown.  Finally, I got wind of it again in Cinemalaya, but Cinemalaya 2011 came and went, (but I never did.  Sigh.) and I still hadn't caught the movie.  Thankfully, the movie proved enduringly popular enough for me to catch it when I did, which was already very very late in the game.

I really don't intend this to be a movie review.  I find the whole process of reviewing films (at least formally) a little too tedious for my taste.  Probably the many reports I had to do back in my student life left a poor taste in my mouth.  Anyway, I'd like to talk about what my expectations of the movie were, and how I feel, now that I have finally seen it on the big screen.

Early into the movie, I realized that this movie was slightly different from your typical comedy.  It began to seem like a veiled commentary on contemporary Philippine homosexuality.  From then on, I expected the movie to have a redeeming message.  Perhaps, say, one of equality and acceptance?  Eventually, the movie veered into related, yet somehow, indirect, territory.  And this is, also, where the spoilers start.  You have been warned.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Importance of Owning a Passport

(Reblogging from the Lonely Planet blog): (Emphasis below, mine.)

Lonely Planet is featuring perspectives on the "importance of owning and using a passport" to celebrate the US National Passport Day on September 17.  The first guy out the dugout is Phil Keoghan, whom most of us know better as the host of the The Amazing Race (US).
I had my first passport when I was two years old. (My own daughter got her first passport when she was two weeks old.) By the time I was 12, I had traveled extensively through the Americas. I even flew by myself from the Caribbean back to New Zealand to attend boarding school. I got the travel bug early. Now every time I look up and see a plane in the sky, I dream of somewhere new.
It’s imperative that we get students curious and hungry about the world early. The most opportune time to travel is straight out of school, when you can just pack your bags and go. Travel is the most valuable education money can’t buy – an opportunity to be resourceful and learn lessons that will affect the way we live the rest of our lives.
As people grow older, they become more rigid in their ways of thinking. They make up more excuses. They make the assumption that they can only leave their house and go overseas if they have a lot of time and money. My whole philosophy is that imagination is your currency, not the money you have in your wallet.
Americans often tell me, ‘But we’ve got it all here. We’ve got ever (sic) culture.’ Americans do have a lot, but not everything. My favorite moments on The Amazing Race are when we have people who have never crossed the border, never owned passports, and never left their home state. When they end up in a place like India, it’s as if they’ve landed on another planet. There’s nowhere you can go in America that’s like Kolkata. This kind of experience gives you perspective, and a different understanding of the world.
Fear stops many of us from getting on planes. One of the things that excites me about The Amazing Race is that millions of viewers see everyday people in the Arab world, Asia and everywhere else doing acts of kindness for Americans. These are powerful images. The Amazing Race allows you to vicariously experience the world, but I promise you it’s better in person.
I’ve found out that having a passport ultimately isn’t so much about the places that it allows you to go as the people who want to share their world with you. When people travel, they do talk about the postcard images they’ve seen of, say, Patagonia, but what they really remember is the human connections they make.
I’ve always had a passport. In a true sense, it’s a ticket to your dreams. Travel is about immersing yourself in something new, allowing yourself to be a fish out of water and just trusting that things will work out. It may not be like home, but so what? It doesn’t have to be. It’s time to get lost. The world is waiting for you!